Highway 365

365 days a year. We rush along the highway within the maze of our existence. Work never seems to end while life always seems to stall. Time stands still only within a black hole.

My Frozen Banana Dessert Reward

Life Lesson for today:
For all things to balance there must always be a reward

Age is a Number

As time passes I realize there were valid reasons for everything they tried to teach me in school. It was not to torture me with a string of boring stuff I would never use. It was to help me make educated choices in life.

Speeding Past Fifty

Math was to have taught me basic survival; exchange of goods cannot happen without an understanding of math concepts. Indeed age is a number and I found that the negative consequences of being labeled according to one's age.

English without communication how could I convey my feelings, make request or compose this blog.

Science ah my downfall…I figured as long as I knew my body parts and where on my person they were located then why bother with all the other stuff.

Perhaps if I had more enthusiasm for science while in school than I would have started my research regarding my health issues three years ago.  Instead my research was limited to disproving what I was told since I lacked knowledge of where to begin. For two years I floundered about helplessly after being told by one doctor there was nothing wrong that was not typical for a woman of my age (yes it was a male) another doctor said these things happen as we age (a female) gave me antidepressants not because she thought I was necessary depressed but because they could possibly make me feel better. Next, when those did not work she put me on hormones. Wow! Talk about mood swings, my sanity and marriage could not survive at this rate - taking those only lasted four days! After the hormone catastrophe I somewhat put everything in a mental box marked later; what can I say I was tired mentally physically and spiritually and decidedly beaten.

Every morning I would struggle through the haze of sleep filled eyes to get dressed and drive to work. Once there everything was completed as if I was a robot on auto-pilot. I would drown myself in coffee and sugar filled junk food in an attempt to stay awake even if staying focused was out of the question. Quitting time meant I drove home and collapsed on the bed for a nap before getting supper on the table. It was a vicious never-ending circle.

There was a brief reprieve in 2012 from the middle of April to the end of May while I recovered from an arthroscopic procedure on my right knee. Recovery took longer than average which I suppose was due to my fatigue and deteriorating immune system.  I did return to work somewhat refreshed but due to the car accident it was short lived and by that time the psoriasis had started to develop on my right hand.

It was not until November that I found my current doctor. She is the one that looked beyond my age and circumstances and actually tested for relevant problems and found both my vitamin deficiencies and cardiovascular isssues. Eventually she diagnosed the rash on my hand as puscular palmar psoriasis. I feel fortunate that she has worked with me to find ways to manage the psoriasis without resorting to prescription drugs.

Since discovering that the downward spiral was not an easy fix, the natural born researcher and the reluctant scientist within me have merged to uncover fascinating details that I pray will restore my health.  I am currently compiling notes from my research including what seems to be working for my psoriasis.

Moving Forward

At first glance it would seem there was little wind beneath the pages of my blog. Could it have been a novel idea without any motivation? What about my mission? Actually everything thing that happened last year has left me extremely motivated asking all sorts of questions, Questions for instance like these....

Do I want to finish meaningful projects that I start?

Do I want to share life experiences that help others?

Do I want to make changes that will affect quality of my life?

The answer to all the above is YES!!!

So what is the reason for the habitus?  I was not prepared for my health to take a downward spiral in the form of numerous health issues including knee and joint pain, fatigue and mood disorders, palmer planter puscular psoriasis and the car wreck that almost took my life. Granted the knee and joint pain was not new but it was suppose to be history after having the arthroscopy procedure in April.  The numerous setbacks have shown my need for organization and clarified my vision for Speeding Past Fifty.

Setbacks and challenges are a part of life, The Bible promises that there will be trials and tribulations. I'm only human I wanted the easy way and excuse me if I want to go on the record for stating the obvious; constant knee pain and strange itchy blisters on my hands (later to be identified as psoriasis) are not the hallmarks of easy. I really wanted to give up for awhile I wanted to throw in the towel and tell God " nope sorry you have the wrong person whoever you think I am whatever you think I am supposed to do it just ain't gonna happen cause I'm not strong enough" Fortunately God knows much better than I and while I may not always understand, I know who God is and that for His intent I have a mission and purpose even if that purpose is only to serve Him.

The past year has been among many things a spiritual journey where the destination is still to be reached. My current challenge is proving to myself that it is time to complete the task at hand and I am ready to rise to that challenge and soar above it to do finish my destination. {Keep my eyes on the prizeJ}

Reasons I Blog

I have often contemplated the reasons I should start a blog. There were good reasons:
Meet interesting people  with whom I can learn  & share.
Contemplate  the how, why & where of my life .
Receive feedback on  interesting topics & ideas.
Find ways to earn  money from hobbies & such.

However, life being life  there was always  an opposing reason not to tackle
 a project that I feel should be a long term commitment .
Fear of rejection
Family commitments
Fear of messing up
Questioning the timing
Fear of stepping out
Part-time job obligations
Negative self talk fed those irrational fears  and planted  seeds of doubt of messing up, quitting or not having enough time for priorities. Thankfully I  realized that those people, things and events would actually be the heart and soul of what would give my blog life. This will be a change that involves challenging my fears and embracing life .

Sometimes its hard to let go and do things differently
But for emotionally maturity and growth
There comes a time when you have to quit searching
Realizing the seasons of our life change
That excuses run out and fears must be met

There comes a time we  move forward into the next chapter.

For me that time is now to...

Meet interesting people  with whom I can learn  & share.
Contemplate  the how, why & where of my life .
Receive feedback on  interesting topics & ideas.
Share my passions, my family, my experiences.
Find ways to earn  money from hobbies & such.
Discover my life' as I speed past fifty